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Tag Archives: baggage

New Relationships & Insecurities

17 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by MzSporadic in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

baggage, insecurities, men, past, relationships, women

This isn’t going to be long.

I’ve been in a relationship for a month now. As time progresses, I’m noticing some of my insecurities. Insecurities that come from my past relationship.

Wait…are they insecurities or just plain old baggage?

Anyway. These “problems” are bothering me. In no way, shape or form do I want to hold Gibbs (that’s what I’ll call him)  responsible for anything that happened in my past. It’s not fair.

My question is, how do I not let that past affect my new relationship? I guess it’s good that I notice it right???

PS – I’m happy 🙂

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Nights Like This!!

13 Saturday Mar 2010

Posted by MzSporadic in personal, random thoughts, relationships, trust

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

alone, baggage, cheating, emotional, emotions, feelings, honesty, hurt, in love, lies, lonely, love, men, pain, parenting, parents, random, random thoughts, relationships, single, women

Nights like this – I sit back and wonder….why am I a single parent? What did we do to deserve this? Why did my son’s father decide not to be apart of his child’s life? Will he ever realize the hurt and pain that he has caused me? Will he realize the future hurt and pain his son may experience from him not being around? Will he ever take responsibility? I LOVE my son but I’m tired of being the only to do anything. I’m tired of being the only one who cares. When do I get a break? I guess it’s true…a woman’s work is NEVER done!

Nights like this – I sit back and wonder….why am I still single? It’s not really a question I don’t know the answer too, it’s just something I don’t understand. Relationship 1 – he cheated; almost everything he ever told me was a lie. Relationship 2 – he cheated; he got her pregnant and we broke up. Relationship 3 – he broke up with me via text message; he said he just wasn’t happy and he hadn’t been in a long time. Do I think he was cheating? Yes. Am I certain? No. There was never any signs or anything. Have I been hurt so many times that I’m unable to move past what happened? So hurt that I’m unable to trust another with my heart? Have I been so hurt that I am blocking my own happiness?

Nights like this – I sit back and wonder….what has happened to me in the last few years? Why did I let my guard down? One thing is very clear; I opened my heart to someone who clearly isn’t ready to be with me. They say it’s relationships period….but I feel like it’s just me. Numerous times I have expressed my feelings…and numerous times one of two things happened, it’s ‘I’m just not ready’ or I don’t get an answer at all. Am I wrong to feel like it’s just me? It hurts to care for someone and think they don’t care about you at all…or to not know if they care at all. Why can’t people just be real about how they feel? Don’t lead people on. Eventually one party develops feelings and the other party needs to step up and move to the next level or let that person go!! You’re only hurting them by continuing the situation knowing you don’t care for the person.

Nights like this – I sit and wonder….why do people do some of the things they do?

Nights like this – I sit and wonder….will ever be able to open my heart again or have I been hurt beyond the point of no return?

Nights like this – I have to much time on my hands. I sit and think about all the things that are wrong in my life. I sit and think about how much I love him, how I’m so in love with him; I sit and wonder why doesn’t he love me too? Why can’t he tell me cares about me? Maybe it’s cause he doesn’t. Either way I need to know!

Nights like this!

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