Today I decided that I really need to get off my ass and get back into the gym! I used to go at least 3 days a week. Somehow I got lazy when April began and I haven’t been back since. SMH!
I do enjoy the gym. I always feel good when I’m done. Seeing the results of my efforts were just icing on the cake. I think part of my problem was hitting a plateau. So far I’ve lost 40 pounds and I’ve kept it off! Now I need to do some serious toning!
So I now have this customized plan that I’m going to follow. I’m starting on August 3rd. I will be doing 2 days on and 1 day off. I should be able to manage that. I’m going to post updates here and there. Maybe I’ll post before pics. Anyways, wish me luck! My goal is to be toned. Fit and curvy!!!
This isn’t going to be long.
I’ve been in a relationship for a month now. As time progresses, I’m noticing some of my insecurities. Insecurities that come from my past relationship.
Wait…are they insecurities or just plain old baggage?
Anyway. These “problems” are bothering me. In no way, shape or form do I want to hold Gibbs (that’s what I’ll call him) responsible for anything that happened in my past. It’s not fair.
My question is, how do I not let that past affect my new relationship? I guess it’s good that I notice it right???
PS – I’m happy 🙂
About a week ago on fb, I asked a question. “How long have you been with your significant other?”. The answers ranged anywhere from 1 month (me lol) to 25+ years. After these answers, I then asked “Are you still in love with them?”.
Unfortunately, no one answered that question. Instead, I was told how women have so much of a leverage on men. I was told how he cheats because he pays all the bills and the kids college educations are paid for all on his dime. It seemed like he was saying that because he takes care of everything financially, he is entitled to cheat. That there is no sense in leaving because she would then get half of everything that he worked so hard for.
I don’t understand. How does being financially responsible for your family make you feel like you should be allowed to cheat? Why continue to be with someone that you are not in love with? Did he really work hard all alone to achieve his status in life right now? Would it be wrong to assume that she also had to have played some role in helping him achieve his success? Isn’t that what a partner does? If not, I have to ask again, what is the point of continuing?
I have also been told to accept the fact that all men cheat. That humans are not monogamous creatures, we just like to pretend. I don’t know if that’s a fair assumption. I mean, I don’t know any men who haven’t cheated lol but I’m sure there are plenty who haven’t. I refuse to believe all men cheat. My happy ending doesn’t involve cheating dammit!
What are your thoughts?
Earlier today I posted a photo to Instagram.
The first part of the photo read ” Love. We all want it, but we are all so hesitant to let ourselves feel it. Why are we so afraid?”
The second part of the photo read “It’s like once you’ve been hurt, you’re so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart”
They were two separate pictures I downloaded at different times. I was going through my gallery and it seemed like one was the answer to the other. Of course that meant to examine my own fears about love lol.
I can relate. I’ve been hurt. More than once. No one wants to get hurt. I think everyone can agree that being hurt is not a good feeling. I think the last time I was hurt may be the worst for me. The straw that broke the camels back. I’m just going to sum it up and say I loved someone who did not love me. That right there was painful. When it was all said and done, I had almost given up on love. I didn’t want to experience that again. I thought “maybe I’m meant to be single”.
I woke up one day and realized that was bullshit! There is somebody out there for everybody. When I stopped feeling sorry for myself and got my shit together, I noticed there were men everywhere. It’s almost like they were jumping out of the bushes every time I turned around. And then, there was that one. He didn’t actually catch my eye, more like he caught my mind. Whoa!
Of course part of the attraction is physical, but for me, 80% of that attraction is mental. I love the way he thinks. I love how smart he is. His creativity, personality, sense of humor…all of that good shit lol.
I’ve said all this (which really wasn’t much lol) to say that once I let go and opened up a little bit, it allowed that one person in. That one person who will make you realize, there is sunshine after the rain. You just have to get up and go outside to see it.