Hey everyone! It’s been a little while since I posted anything, but today I’m back for Shout Out Saturday! Shout Out Saturday helps us get to know other bloggers and other bloggers to get to know us, as well as helping to expand our readers. Everyone has a voice and what better way to be heard than blogging? With that being said, I would like to introduce you to Jsin. He is a great writer who has a voice! He speaks his mind and tells it like it is! No matter who you are, or where you are from, I am sure that you will find something of interest on his blog or his vlog. His vlog is hilarious by the way! You should check that out also if  you have time. Please welcome…..Jsin!!! ***crowd goes wild*** 

 

 

Insecure Control Freaks

 

The title says it all; this post is about men who are insecure control freaks and the women that allow them to be.  I have honestly had enough with men who try to control women.  I don’t care if they are in a relationship together.  What gives a man the right to think he can control and dictate what a woman does? I believe that some of these insecure and controlling men really think that once a woman enters into a relationship with them that she becomes their property.  How absurd is that?! There’s no title, no deed, no monetary exchange, nothing.  So please explain to me when, where and how a transaction took place.  Let me guess…you can’t.

When a man and a woman enter into a relationship it does not give either one of them the ability to dictate what the other does.  A relationship is supposed to be equal, fair and respectful.  How is it then that some men enter into relationships and lose their damn minds? Some of them truly go on a power trip.  I know because I’ve seen it happen firsthand, even to friends of mine.  Out of respect for my friends I keep my peace and let them make their own choices.  But trust me; it really irks me when I see men mistreat beautiful, kind women who deserve to be treated like queens.

If some of you aren’t familiar with some of the things that insecure controlling men do, please allow me to enlighten you.  Listed below is just the tip of the iceberg:

  • Demands that she has NO male friends (even if they were friends prior to their relationship)
  • Stresses her about text, Facebook and Twitter messages that she receives from other men
  • Tells her what she can and can’t wear
  • Refuses to let her spend time and hang out with her friends

 

Quite ridiculous, right? It amazes me how a man can treat a woman this way.  Sure men and women both can become jealous when they see their partner receiving attention from other men or women.  That’s only natural because they have a connection and strong feelings for the person.  Yet, there is a difference between feeling a little jealous and actually trying to control someone.  Most times when women receive attention from other men it isn’t by choice.  A woman couldn’t possibly stop every man from trying to talk to her or sending her texts or messages on Facebook or Twitter.  What she can do is turn down their advances and ignore their messages.  The problem is that many insecure and controlling men won’t even give their women the option or ability to do so.  Instead they immediately place blame on the woman for even receiving the advances and messages.  Wow! How can you blame her for something she has no control over?  Are you serious?!

If you ask me the biggest problem with insecure and controlling men is the fact that they DON’T trust the women they are in relationships with.  They can’t!  It just isn’t possible.  There is no way you can harass someone and accuse them of doing things that they have no control over and say that you trust them.  When you trust someone you don’t try to control them in order to keep them from leaving you.  You allow them to make their own choices and if they make a wrong choice you deal with it then.  They chose to be with you and they will choose whether or not to cheat or leave as well.  It isn’t a man or a woman’s right to make choices for their partner.  Each individual should be allowed to make their own choices.

Staying on the topic of CHOICE, I would like to turn my attention away from the insecure and controlling men and focus on the women that allow them to control them.  How can a woman possibly stay in a relationship with a man who is insecure and controlling? You would think that all women would have enough sense to get out of a relationship with this type of man, but unfortunately that isn’t the case.  There are many women who remain in relationships and even marriages with insecure and controlling men.  They allow the man to dictate what they can and can’t do and who they can and can’t communicate with.  Honestly, it’s sad to see women in situations like these.  I just want to be able to snap them out of the trance they’re in so that they can vacate that unhealthy relationship and find a man who will love, respect and treat them right.

So, why would a woman stay in a relationship with an insecure and controlling man? To be honest, I’m willing to bet that 9 out of 10 women in these situations will say the reason they stay is because of love.  LOVE?!   Are you serious?! There is no way that you can convince me that the reason to stay with a man who controls you and disrespects you is because of love.  That makes absolutely NO sense to me.  A man who loves you does not have a desire to control you.  He doesn’t want to treat you like his property.  He only wants to treat you like his queen and see to it that everyone respects you, not only him.  He won’t accuse you or blame you for things that are out of your control.  He won’t try to restrict you from making decisions and choices on your own.  He will allow you to be yourself: the woman and queen that he loves and respects.

Now for the women who say that it is their love that keeps them in the relationship, I have one question for you: How can you love a man that doesn’t love and trust you? To me, it seems like you’re just setting your heart up for disaster because there is no way that an insecure and controlling man will do anything other than put a strain on your heart and eventually try to shatter it.  Try as you might to show him love and respect, but he won’t do the same in return.  He doesn’t want love.  He wants power.  Sure some women believe that their man will change.  Now this I can say is NOT impossible.  Sure people can change.  I definitely believe that.  But why stick around in the meantime? He isn’t going to change if you stay and allow him to continue to control and disrespect you.  You have to leave and if he comes back later and you can tell that he has genuinely changed, sure you can give him a second chance.  But the most important thing is to refuse to allow a man to treat you disrespectfully.

Stand up for yourself. Love yourself. And never relinquish your control.

*Drops mic*

 

 

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