Lately I haven’t been in the best of moods. I’m a bad funk that just won’t go away!
Relationships. Why are they so f*cking difficult?! I know every relationship takes some work, but damn! Just how hard should a relationship be?
People who follow my blog on a regular will know where this is coming from. For those of you who don’t know…you should have been following!
I’m happy to finally have my relationship, but why did I have to work so hard to get it? Don’t get me wrong; I really did enjoy getting to know him first. 3 1/2 years went by before we moved past the friend stage. Why? Could it be that he wasn’t over his past relationship or because he really just wasn’t ready? Was it really necessary to drag things along for almost 4 years before moving on?
I knew when I first saw him, I wanted to be with him; he was my forever and I wanted to create a family with him. I want it all; the house, the kids and the white pickett fence. But it isn’t the same for him. I can honestly say that I’m in unconditionally and irrevocably IN LOVE with this man who isn’t IN LOVE with me, he only CARES for me. I know because I asked. His exact response was
I care about you…not as much as you want me to, but I do care about you
And that is what brings me sadness. Why does he only care for me? I don’t want to give up on him and I’m not ready to, but how do I continue a relationship when it’s very clear we are on different wave lengths? It took 3 1/2 years to get to the boyfriend/girlfriend or man/woman stage, I don’t want to spend another 3 1/2 years for him to fall in love with me. Why can’t men sometimes be honest with themselves about their feelings the way women are?
Sad Hopless Romatic