I don’t even know where to begin with this. As you read on, it may seem like I’m going back and forth and all over the place…well I probably will be lol
When we first met in summer of 06….by winter of 06 we both agreed that we were looking for companions…friends with benefits, something consistent without actually being in a relationship. It was like fireworks in the beginning! I was always over his house…we also worked at the same place. I would wait until my son went to bed (he was 9 months when we started…he’s 3 now) and drive 20-30 minutes to his house every night. My son always slept through the night so I would come before he woke up at 6:30am. This went on for months….then valentine’s day came. I asked if we would be celebrating it and his response was ‘I don’t celebrate valentine’s day anymore…I did all that in the past with my ex’. WoW! I was really into him…in fact I was in love with him. So I continued dealing with him. I professed my love for him in a letter….told him how I was in love with him and wanted more. I wanted to be the lady in his life. He told me he read the letter and he needed some time to think about it. 6 months go by and I NEVER got a response. Another month went by and I decided to tell him face to face this time….still didn’t really get an answer other than he needs time. Needing some time has turned into 3 years come December and I don’t know what to do! I love him with all that I have, I’m in love with him. We still spend a lot of time together but there are times when it seems as if he is sick of me. Like I get on his nerves or I annoy him. Everyday I’m hurting inside because I’m in love with someone and I don’t know if they love me back. He’s not affectionate with me…every couple of months I get a kiss from him. I usually only get a hug. Its like he doesn’t really want me touching him. I try to walk away but it’s killing me. Why is he still dealing with me? Whenever feelings are brought up, he changes the subject. Am I just convenient to him? Or could he possibly love me? In 3 years he’e never told me he loves me or cares about me. When I asked him if he cared he said ‘I don’t know…I guess’…wtf? I don’t know what the hell is going on! What do ya’ll think?