Reality Check!


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Lately I’ve been feeling like something is missing from my life. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what that was. After talking with a friend, this is what he came up with….

“you feel a void emotionally because you don’t have a man stimulating you emotionally in a relationship capacity”

😐 yeah…so…I’m a lil lonely lol. Maybe my problem was not that I didn’t know what was missing. The problem was me not accepting it. Who wants to be lonely? Probable no one. Now that I’ve been smacked in the face with that lil piece of reality, I can move forward and live my life accordingly.

Watch me work.

27 Unspoken Suit Rules Every Man Should Know

Need to Know


Justine Zweibel / BuzzFeed

1. The width of the tie should match the width of the lapel.

The width of the tie should match the width of the lapel.

It’s all about BALANCE.

2. In general, thin lapels are more modern. Wide lapels are more old-school, Mad Men style.


So choose your look accordingly.

3. A pocket square adds an extra level of polish, but make sure it doesn’t match your tie in either pattern or fabric choice.

A pocket square adds an extra level of polish, but make sure it doesn't match your tie in either pattern or fabric choice.

Before you go totally conservative, remember that the pocket square is where you get the most freedom and the one place you get to add a little pizzazz to your suit.

4. When buying an off-the-rack suit, the number one thing to check is how the shoulders fit.

When buying an off-the-rack suit, the number one thing to check is how the shoulders fit.

Tsk, tsk, John McCain. Shoulder pads should end at the shoulders. The shoulders are the hardest to tailor, so make sure they don’t stick out or stick up.

5. A…

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The Definition

She's ByePoleHer

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What does it mean to love?

What does it mean to be in love?

What is it?

I think that one of the most incredible and perpetual lessons of my life has been realizing that love doesn’t have a single definition. If you ask one hundred people to define or describe love, you won’t receive a singular response.

Why is that?

I can remember writing about love before I had any inkling of what it meant.

I recall writing about passionate kisses, smiling with eyes closed, wrapped in security.

I remember fantasizing about a yellow dress with round hope beneath watching other dreams run and play. I remember fantasizing about sitting on a porch swing feeling full of it.

I can remember writing poems and stories about love. A love that I never witnessed or experienced. A love that I once dreamed of. Only to discover that type of love…

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In 2014


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Happy New Year everyone!

I just wanted to do a quick little post about what I wish for 2014.

2013 contained many downs and a couple of ups. I moved twice. My house was broken into. I got a promotion at work. My son’s father has been spending a little time with him (GASP!). I ended a relationship in 2012 and remained single throughout 2013, except for a short 3 month relationship that never got physical lol.

In 2014, I would love for my son’s father to be more involved in his life. It’s so important for him to be there. I can’t show a little boy how to be a man. I can only show him what I think a man should be. How the hell do I know? I didn’t grow up with an active father. No one showed me what a man is.

In 2014, I want to manage my money better. Last year I started an IRA. I do have pensions, but I figured an IRA wouldn’t hurt. I will be opening another IRA. I want to better my credit. I want to buy a house in the next 3 years. I need to have a HOME, not just a place to live. I want to show my son that we don’t have to miss out on anything because we aren’t a two parent household. Mommy’s got this!

In 2014, I don’t want to be lonely anymore lmao. No, seriously! I don’t want to be lonely. I want to be loved. Last year, I met some folks, some were good and some were not. Actually none of them were good for me. After my last relationship I can’t sit around waiting on anyone! Been there done that! We are all grown, if you want to be with someone, TELL them. Stop playing childish games! I just want people to be adults, grow up and say how you feel. Stop labeling people as counters, lonely, thirsty and all that other bullshit simply because they’re showing interest in you!

In 2014 I just want to keep progressing. Be great in everything you do this year! Like Dori, in Finding Nemo, just keep swimming! 🙂

First Date Sex


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We’re all grown here right?

When do you think it’s okay to have sex with someone you’re dating?

There are plenty who have it on the first date. Is there a unwritten rule that if you have sex on the first date it means you’re unworthy?? Or that you’re a hoe?

I personally think if you want to have sex, then do it. Regardless of when you do it, a man is going to call you a hoe if he wants to.

What are your thoughts