12 Sunday May 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
Tags
fb, happiness, heartbreak, love, men, random, relationships, thoughts, trust, women
What are you thoughts on this?
I agree with him. I’m speaking based on my own personal experiences. While it hasn’t completely destroyed my outlook on love, it has definitely changed it. Trust. Trusting isn’t that hard for me. Just don’t give me valid reason not to trust you. Security. I’m not even gonna go there.
Talk to me.
08 Wednesday May 2013
Posted in personal, random thoughts, relationships
Hmm. I’ve been thinking. Is it really possible to have sex and not become emotionally attached?
Looking back at my past, there were times it was just sex and other times it turned into something bigger.
How do you avoid becoming attached? Where do people go wrong when it’s supposed to be no strings attached and it becomes the exact opposite?
Thoughts…………
12 Tuesday Mar 2013
Posted in personal
So, I moved on March 1st. I really like the house. It’s perfect for my needs and my son loves it.
3:30PM yesterday, I receive a call from my brother that my house was broken into. Of course it happened the day after I asked these ghetto, sorry ass dirty negroes not to stand in front of my house smoking weed.
They stole my son’s money, his Xbox 360, PS3 and a laptop. SMH I’m more upset that items taken belonged to my son. I would rather my stuff be missing.
Good thing is that Karma has been working fast in 2013. They will get theirs. Trust!
09 Saturday Mar 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
It doesn’t matter how many times you explain things. People hear what they want to hear, if they’re listening at all.
This is frustrating. Especially when said person makes you feel like shit, makes you feel like an asshole. This is how I feel right now. I feel like shit.
I am so scarred and damaged from my RECENT past that I may have hurt someone I really enjoyed. Someone that I like. It’s tough. It’s hard for me to let someone in when the last person took my heart and broke it into millions of tiny little pieces. Hurting someone is something that I never wanted to do. I would never want anyone to feel the hurt and pain that I’ve felt and still feel sometimes.
I just wish people really understood where I am right now. All I can do is leave it in HIS hands.
That is all
26 Saturday Jan 2013
Posted in personal, relationships
So, I’ve been doing some thinking since I’ve been single these last few months. I don’t want to sit around wasting my life away lol. I actually want to start dating, but I don’t know where to begin. I don’t think I know how to date.
I’ve thought about making an online dating profile. I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. So many people use the internet to live fake lives. How do you know that it’s real? How safe/dangerous is it?
What are your thoughts on internet dating?
15 Tuesday Jan 2013
Posted in quotes
Tags
feelings, friendships, happiness, hurt, life, life experiences, men, personal, random, random thoughts, relationships, trust, women
Without even realizing the next day would be his birthday, last night I posted a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
This quote gives me life! I say this because in the past year, I have been tested many times. In each situation, I chose not to hate the person then and I don’t hate them now. I have no ill feelings toward them. I am now a firm believer of ‘People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.’ With each experience I can determine what that person’s purpose is/was in my life. It’s so much easier that way. LOL!
As far as the quote, hate is too great a burden to bear. Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself, is this really worth it? I’ve noticed since I have learned to let go of hate, life is way less stressful. You should try it. You will become a better you!
He’s no longer here, but everyday he still makes a difference in someone’s life! Happy Birthday Dr. King!
15 Tuesday Jan 2013
Posted in personal, random thoughts, relationships, trust
Tags
emotions, feelings, girls, happiness, life, life experiences, love, men, people, personal, random, random thoughts, relationships, thoughts, trust, women
Single until Married.
This has been on my mind for quite some time now. Around the same time that my relationship was ending, I began conversing with a guy I had met. I asked if he was single and he responded, “I’m single until I’m married”. That made me raise an eyebrow. I had never looked at in that way. I always looked at as you’re not single if you’re in a relationship with someone.
So I asked my fb and twitter friends if they agreed with that statement. To my surprise, everyone who answered agreed with it. LOL! They all said that you’re single until married because relationships aren’t recognized. There’s no option for “in a relationship” when they ask for your marital status. In that way, you are considered single until married. If you’re in a relationship, you’re not single. Aren’t you committed in a relationship? Does that count for anything?
I guess I kind of feel like that’s just an excuse for people to continue to act a fool. Especially men! For example, the guy that sparked this post actually came clean. After 2 months of getting to know him, again I asked “are you single?”. He responded “It’s complicated.She lives in another state.” WTF! Why wasn’t that said from the very beginning? It’s not like the question changed. I asked the exact same question, yet I got 2 different answers. Why?
*cues Chief Keef ‘I Don’t Like’*
And then the married men. Girrrrrrrl (or boy) they are special. I don’t understand. Why get married if you’re not going to be faithful to your wife. Why are you messaging the next woman on a daily basis? Where is your wife? How can you possibly have the time to do all these things? I feel bad for these women because a lot of them have no idea what he’s doing. It almost makes me not want to get married. Almost. I just hope that one day I will be lucky enough to have a husband will be faithful to me.
One last thing. Why are men who are involved so intrigued by single women?
What are your thoughts?
02 Wednesday Jan 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 3,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 5 years to get that many views.
01 Tuesday Jan 2013
Posted in personal, relationships
Tags
anger, best friends, blogging, emotions, family, feelings, friendships, happiness, hurt, laughs, life, life experiences, love, men, people, personal, random, random thoughts, ranting, relationships, thoughts
Before I pulled out my laptop, I thought long and hard about what I would write. Suddenly it hit me. It’s 2013, reflecting on 2012 seems appropriate.
LOVE.
I spent the last 5 years (almost 6) of my life being in love with a man who was not in love with me. I spent the last 5 years of my life never being happy in that aspect of life because he did not love me. I don’t know what got me over and through it but I think I just woke up one day. I thought about everything he and I had been through. I noticed that in our time together, I did everthing. I was the caterer. I always came to him, he didn’t have to come to me. There were nights that I would put my kid to sleep and go spend the night with him because I had a live-in babysitter. I thought that was okay because I always made it home before my kid woke up. SMH what the hell was I thinking? Now that I look back, that is the dumbest shit ever!
I started noticing that he wasn’t contacting me. If we had any contact, I was the one contacting him first. He rarely contacted me first. There were times where we would go days without speaking. There were times that I would contact him and he wouldn’t respond until the next day or late that night. One day I just said “fuck this shit!”. I stopped contacting him. I didn’t always respond to him, if I did, it was late that night or the next day. I began doing to him what he had been doing to me. That became draining. In October, I decided that I would not contact him at all. The last time we spoke, which was via text, was October 6, 2012. The next time I heard from him was December 3, 2012. It was my birthday. He sent a text… “happy birthday”. That was it. I have not heard from him since.
In every way possible, it’s over for me. I’ve moved on. I don’t entirely hate him for everything that happened. People only do what you allow them to, and I allowed him to treat me in a disgusting way. I’m thankful for him being a season in my life because he forced me to look at myself. I now know what I don’t want and what I do want. No looking back, only forward. I’m happy again! It doesn’t get any better than that!
Work.
After being on unemployment for the full 100 weeks (lol) I had to start my job search. If you’ve ever been in need of a job, you know how depressing it can be when you can’t find one. Finally, after 2 months of searching, I decided to go to a temp agency that I worked for in the past. Luckily they had something that was starting that next month. I began my job for the temp agency on August 1, 2012. I was not happy with the job as I hate telephone jobs. I kept searching. Mid August, I was contacted for an interview. I was offered the job, I accepted and began work on September 7, 2012. It was another telephone job. I hated that too! November 2012, I get a letter in the mail for an interview for a job that I took a test for almost a year before. I interviewed for that job in December 2012. I began working at that job February 27, 2012. I actually love my job now. I work for the local welfare/social service agency in my area. I’m happy. I have health insurance, vacation and sick time, pension benefits, a union and most importantly, I have peace of mind! No real complaints here!
Family.
What can I say, we get better every day! Most of them haven’t changed. So I keep it moving. I have established great relationships with my mom and brother and that’s the most important to me. Everyone has to get in where they can fit in!
Friends.
I received an unexpected message from an old friend. She was actually my best friend. We’ve had tons of ups and downs. I’ve even posted about her on here before. So some of you may be familiar with the story. She basically said she missed me and she did some growing up and left her number for me to contact her if I wanted to. I thought about it and I did contact her. We are going to mend our friendship but it will take time. So right now I’m handling her with a long handled spoon adn we have only talked on the phone once, mainly through text. Maybe one day we will actually hang out.
Weightloss.
I went to the doctor in July and he basically said “Bitch, you’re fat!” I joined the gym. I went for a month straight, and then got into a car accident. My back is really jacked up from the accident. I haven’t been to the gym since the accident. I miss the gym. I’m starting back this weekend. I need to continue this journey. I’ve already lost a total of 29 pounds since September. I would like to lose another 20. Pain is pleasure!
That’s all I have for now. I missed writing. It’s my release. My therapy. I will be here every week, at least once a week. Hope you will be here with me.
27 Thursday Oct 2011
Posted in Uncategorized
Tags
Hey blog fam! I know I’ve been gone for quite some time now and the last time I was here I said I would be posting more regularly. I had every intention on doing that but life happened lol.
I haven’t been posting but I have been reading most of your posts. You guys are doing great! I miss blogging and I miss all of you.
Well now I’m making a promise. A promise to myself and to my blog fam. I promise to post at least once a week no matter what.
So thank you all for being a part of the blog with me. I love you all!
Now I’m off to start my first post =D
